How to get the IEP your child needs.

Securing an IEP for your child can be daunting. Even the most dedicated teachers and administrators work with a limited budget, and there are many children who need special services. If you believe your child qualifies for an IEP but the school hasn't contacted you to start the process, you can get the ball rolling yourself. Send a polite certified letter to the principal requesting an eligibility assessment and explaining your reasons for doing so. It can't hurt to casually mention federal requirements for how quickly the school must respond. That's the reason for sending your request by certified mail; it serves as an official start date. Here are some other things you can do to prepare:

  • Before the meeting, do your research. Do a lot of research. Study IDEA laws as well as the laws in your state. It's important to understand what qualifies as a disability so that you can tailor your arguments to support that classification. A child who is struggling in school but who as yet has no diagnosed condition does not automatically qualify for a disability. However, if you do your homework, you can request the testing that will prove it.

  • Educate yourself on all of the supports that are available. Accommodations and supports can range from extra time on tests to a full-time aide that accompanies your child throughout the day. An IEP may include speech or physical therapy. In rare cases, an IEP may stipulate that the school system must provide for a child to be educated at home.

Find out what schools are legally required to do and - equally important - what they're not required to do.

  • First, find out whether your child is eligible for benefits. If he doesn't meet requirements but you feel he needs the services anyway, find out what you need to meet those standards. This could mean asking the school to conduct a variety of assessments or scheduling some on your own with private providers. If you can afford it, independent doctors can tell you what your child needs, not just what he's clearly eligible for.

  • It's very important to know what's out there so you'll know what to ask for. Did you know that some students have assigned aides that go from class to class with them? Sometimes a student who qualifies under IDEA but whose home school doesn't offer the necessary services can be transferred to a school that does. You can't decide whether or not you need something until you know it exists. Don't go crazy, but ask for slightly more than what you need so that you'll have some room to negotiate. Many accommodations may neither be appropriate nor desirable for your child, but you won't know what to ask for if you don't know what's available.

  • Find out who will be in the meeting and what each person's role is. In most states, your child's homeroom teacher will be there, as well as a psychiatrist from the district and someone with the authority to commit resources (often the principal).

  • Once an initial assessment has been completed, ask to receive the results as well as a draft IEP before the next meeting. Otherwise, you might feel compelled to rush, knowing everyone else has already read the information.

  • Once you have the final draft, understand that they cannot proceed without you. Until you sign on the dotted line, you're still in the development and negotiation process. If you're not happy with the draft, ask for changes, and don't sign until you're giving a copy that includes them.

Remember that, while, in most cases, the school wants what's best for your child, they also have to deal with the reality of limited resources. They are not coming into the room planning to give you everything they want. Not because they don't care about your child, but because there are other kids who need the same resources. If they put more in your bucket, that means taking some out of another child's bucket. Keeping that in mind will help you control your emotions when you run into road bumps. Don't give up too easily; just try to see the school's point of view.

The IEP process can be long, tedious, and sometimes frustrating. While a great many schools will do as much as they possibly can for your child, others will balk, especially if you ask for expensive accommodations and their resources are spread thin already. The better prepared you are, the better your chances will be. To obtain the very best IEP for your child, know what you want, what you're likely to get, and who can help you get it.

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